Skinship
by Jadziwine
Summary: Matt and Alesha share an intimate moment but it doesn't end well. Will these two ever get it together? please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Alesha stared at Matt incredeously before saying " I cannot believe what I'm hearing. you of all people are trying to convince me, that the Counting Crows are better than the Black Crows. and here I was, thinking you were sort of cool, Matt Devlin!". She shook her head chuckling as Matt, tried and failed to come up with a good excuse behind his reasoning.

Alesha nearly choked on her drink, when he started sputtering about his dreadlocks being like Samson's. "now, i'm going to stop you right there, because you are obviously drunk and possibly brain damaged. and I don't want this conversation to come between us!" she said in mock seriousness. The two friends cracked up in another fit of laughter.

They were both feeling very relaxed,enjoying an afterwork hangout. Ronnie and the rest of the gang had already cleared out nearly an hour earlier, with claims of being too old and too tired to stay out this late on a Friday night, and left the two youngest members to their own devices.

Alesha barely registered that Amy Winehouse's Me and Mr Jones started playing in the pub, before Matt dragged her to the middle of the floor, and pulled her into an unsteady dance. Embarassed and a bit confused, Alesha questioned her impromptu dance partner " um what are you doing? trying to get us banned?".

Matt laughed as he said " no, I'm showing you how cool I am" He pulled her closer to him and did some Lambada style dance move, which secretly thrilled her as well as made her giggle in dismay.

Alesha buried her face into the base of his neck, and breathed " I don't think its working". she felt Matt's body tremble with quiet laughter, so she looked up grinning at him.

Maybe it was the drink, or the atmosphere or how pretty her eyes looked under the pubs lights, but he bent his face towards her and kissed her passionately. She didn't pull away, so he deepened the kiss, until they both were forced to come up for air.

They stared into each others eyes, completely taken aback by the intensity of that kiss. From that kiss Matt knew, that he was hooked. he was confused by the sudden clarity of his emotions but he clung to his "avoid commitment at all costs" belief. he wasn't looking for her, but there she was, looking back at him with eyes filled with confusion, hurt and fleeting hope.

Alesha was pleasantly shocked by the kiss. and then repulsed by the look of pure fear in Matt's eyes. She'd inspired alot of different feelings after kissing guys, but never fear. never utter rejection like that. No words were spoken after the kiss, but she knew without a doubt, that he regretted it very much.

So when Matt started sputtering out an excuse about why he had to leave that very minute, she barely mumbled an audible response. although that didn't seem to register to him as he hastily made his retreat.

Alesha ever so slowly put on her coat and scarf, and slung her bang across her chest and left the pub. She hailed a taxi and sat quietly looking out the window during the drive home. a bitter silent tears slid down her cheeks as she stared out of the cab, she wondered what was so wrong with her, that he would have reacted that way? was it her breath? maybe she wasn't his type?

By the time the cab dropped her off in front of her apartment, she had vowed to stay strong and to carry on as if that ill fated kiss never happened, just so she could retain any vestiges of her pride.  
>Alesha unlocked her door, turned on the lights, kicked off her shoes and said aloud, to noone in particular "What a lovely night, to have a good cry".<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

By 10 am monday morning, Alesha was feeling stressed out and burnt out. "this is going to be a long day, she thought to herself" she sighed and continued on typing up her caseload. it was a good thing that she was always very punctual about her filing system, so she was pretty much up to date, because today was the day that anything could push her over the edge.

Alesha's weekend was at the sametime uneventful and horrible. Her vow to remain strong broke around 3 am saturday morning, when she woke up in sorrowful tears, replaying the dancefloor scene over and over again in her head. She couldn't get the look in his eyes out of her head. and the rest of the weekend went down hill from there. She didn't go out for her usual run, she didn't do her big shop for the weeks food, she didn't do her sunday cleaning. She just sat around and moped. and inbetween those 2 things she also weeped. the kind of soul wrenching sobs that wracked your very core.

So When Monday came, she looked a terrible mess, with sallow skin, limp hair and puffy eyes.  
>But she was determined to get her act together today. She would get her mojo back, by force if she had too. She planned a long lunch break, with a trip to the day spa around the corner, to get a facial and a manipedi. That ought to perk her right up,she thought to herself, forcing a brighter outlook regardless of how she felt inside. If James questioned her she might have to murder him, but so be it, she smiled in spite of herself, at the thought.

Matt skulked towards his desk, hoping Ronnie wouldn't be there as yet, but his luck didn't hold. because the older detective was there and looking extra aware. Matt slid into his seat, and turned on his computer.

" Matty, my boy, you look a bit worse for wear!, what the hell happened to you?" Ronnie said as he eyed Matt expertly before continuing " let me guess? its a woman".

Matt looked at his partner in awe. "how'd you do that so fast? and yea its a woman, but i'm dealing with okay? just leave it alone" he ducked his head back down and pretended to be absorbed in his work, but Ronnie wasn't buying that at all.

" You, my son, are not handling it at all. if i know you, you're just avoiding it, hoping it will all go away. now come on, out with it, gimme the details, so I can help you solve this case" Ronnie teased gently, he knew Matt looked like he was on the end of his tether. Ronnie accurately guessed that Matt probably hadn't slept much over the weekend, and was overthinking everything. If there was one thing Ronnie Brooks could do, was read people, and he did that very well.

But before Matt had a chance to answer, Ronnie's phone rang interrupting the younger man's confession. It was James steel, requesting their presence at his office. When Matt's face went a chalky shade at the news, Ronnie had an inkling.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Please disregard the fact that I obviously know nothing about Law and that i'm just winging it when it came to the Law and Order aspects. This is just all about the angsty bits between these two and not about my lack of skills LOL.. thankyou!_**

Alesha purposely strode through the doors of the CPS building, feeling much more like herself after her wonderfully long lunch break. when she arrived at her desk as James stepped out of his office, he smiled at her indulgently, before saying " now, theres my Alesha! you look refreshed! perhaps we should start having more of these long lunch breaks more often." Alesha laughed and agreed before settling behind her desk.

James continued "Ronnie and Matt, should be here any minute now. so I just want to run through this case with you quickly, once more" he was so caught up in the files that he didn't see the look of fleeting trepidation that passed over Alesha's pretty features.

She had to be strong, and not make a fool of herself. anything after that would have to wait for another day, Alesha thought to herself as she steadied her nerves.

Agitated, She started to log into her computer as she mumbled to herself " and this is why you don't make out with colleagues, it gets insanely awkward".

James' eyebrow shot up in interest but before he opened his mouth to question her further, he heard Ronnie's voice as he spoke on the phone to his boss, Natalie. James knew it was better to leave the conversation alone for the time being until after the two detectives left.

Matt braced himself, as he entered the prosecutors office. He knew this wasn't going to be easy but he'd try to be as nonchalant as possible and hope this first meeting would go by smoothly. atleast until he had a chance to think of a way to fix things with Alesha.

He sighed to himself, why was he being so difficult about this? he liked her so much, he could very well see himself falling madly in love with her, if he would just stop fighting it.

His thoughts ceased when he walked through the doorway and his eyes fell upon her as she stapled some forms together. She didn't look as if she hadn't slept all weekend, in fact, she looked especially radiant.

Alesha's eyes met his for an instant, and his heart skipped. She quickly looked away, hoping she didn't give any feelings away in that glance. She took deep breaths forcing her heart to stop beating so loudly. " atleast he looks rough, serves him right" she thought meanly. She refused to let that horribly annoying little voice win, the one that gushed about how hot Matt looked even at his worst.

Matt found himself willing her to look at him again, hoping that he'd find an answer to the question he couldn't bring himself to ask. She didn't.


	4. Chapter 4

"Matt, Ronnie, so glad you could join us. This shouldn't take very long. Alesha you have the case file, lets convene in my office" James said as he grabbed his coffee mug and headed back into the room adjacent to Alesha's desk.

James knew something was up between Matt and Alesha, but he couldn't pinpoint it. He'd have to ask her about it later, he thought to himself.

Ronnie strategically placed himself in the chair furthest to the left, forcing Alesha and Matt to sit next to each other. He knew in that instant that whatever had Matt looking like the walking dead had to do with a certain junior crown prosecutor.

James and Ronnie watched with bemused expressions as their 2 younger colleagues, awkwardly tried to move their seats further apart, without making it obvious. It was a failed attempt.

When Alesha and Matt finally sat down, it was to utter silence. Ronnie and James were staring at them with suspicious expressions. "perhaps we should have made this meeting, a conference call" James said trying to lighten the mood. Ronnie guffawed while Matt and Alesha looked positively mortified.

Alesha was the first to break the silence "So in the case of Christopher Vaughan vs Jasmine Harrington, let's clarify the facts. He broke into her house and attempted to burgle it, when she attacked him with a piece of plywood, rendering him unconscious. Now He wants to press charges..." she looked at James pointedly to continue...

* * *

><p><em>The meeting couldn't have ended sooner for everyone involved. It was very professional, with Ronnie and James doing most of the talking, but the unusual silence coming from Matt and Alesha did not go unnoticed. It was like a giant elephant in the room. The words unsaid were of the all encompassing variety. it sucked all the humor out of the room.<em>

Even James and Ronnie couldn't wait to get out of there. There was no way these two could go on like this. Something had to be done. so Ronnie took it upon himself to be the sacrificial lamb.

" So, Alesha luv, what'd you and our Matt get up to after we left the pub? " he asked bluntly.

Alesha,taken aback by Ronnie's question, stopped in her tracks. Her back to him, she quickly regained her composure and continued towards her desk as she said " nothing much, Ron. just this and that. we didn't even stay on that long after you all left."

She sat down calmly and smiled up at 2 of the 3 men in the room.

The older detective took note of this, before pressing the issue again. " oh really? well how much longer did you and _MATT_ stay then? "

Alesha's smile faltered for half a second, at the sound of Matt's name. " I can't remember, I was drinking remember? what's with the 20 questions?" she asked rather crossly.

but Ronnie continued with his take no prisoners interrogation, because he now noticed how silent Matt was.

"Well, I'm asking because Matt here, came in looking like the something the cat hacked up, this morning. apparently he didn't sleep all weekend..." He turned to look at Matt as he said this part, before going on, "so I wondered if you knew why?".

He stared at Matt, feeling guilty but knowing he had to trudge on, forcing his friend to deal with things head on as soon as possible.

So Ronnie didn't see Alesha's face when he heard her say in a casual tone " I haven't the foggiest, Ronnie"

But James did. While Ronnie was looking at his partner, James was also looking at his. He saw her feign nonchalance, even as her eyes gave everything away. He saw the hurt in her eyes and knew that Matt must have had something to do with it.

James smirked when he saw the expression of surprise on Matt's face when he heard Alesha's tone and statement. He was thoroughly impressed with her aloof tactic. He must have rubbed off on her a bit.

Matt twisted his head to look at her as if for the first time. How could she be so cool and collected? it was almost as if she really didn't know what happened that night? the only thing that gave it away was her refusal to make eye contact with him.

" I must have hurt her more than I realized if She's reacting like this. She's my friend,we need to sort this out" Matt thought to himself. He knew how stubborn Alesha could be, so he was well aware he was in for another rough night .


	5. Chapter 5

Matt waited for Alesha as she left the Magistrate's office, later that evening. He couldn't ignore the look of undeniable sadness in her face as she walked out of the building. She wasn't aware he was watching her, so she hadn't bothered to put on her game face.

He walked towards her, determined to rectify the situation. His heart was beating fast, and all of his practiced words fleeing from his mind.

Alesha saw him striding towards her, and knew they were going to have that awkward yet inevitable conversation. so she prepared herself as much she could. she ignored the butterflies in her tummy. she banished the giddy feeling that seeing him brought on.

As he got close enough for him to hear, she said as blankly " oh hey Matt, what are you doing here?" she didn't look him in the eye. she looked beyond him as if something important was going to show up and she didn't want to miss it.

"Alesha, can we go for a coffee or something, we need to have a chat." Matt said as he stopped in front of her, searching her face, forcing her to look at him. " I'm not going to leave you alone, until you talk to me" He said when he noticed the look of hesitation plain upon her face.

" yea ok, coffee sounds good. Theres a place right around the corner unless you have somewhere else in mind?" Alesha said briskly as she moved away from him, towards the street.

Matt exhaled in relief before saying " No that place will be fine, lead on!" catching up with her quickly as she crossed the street. The short walk was in silence.

No small talk took place, and Matt realized how much he missed her teasing and light flirting. He noticed that even though she was walking beside him, there was an absence. and it hurt even more when he acknowledged that he was the cause of it.

Alesha led them to the nearest table and started to take off her coat and scarf. she quietly sat down and waited for him to settle in.

She knew she wasn't making this easy on him. but then again he sort of deserved it, perhaps next time he'll learn not to break a girls heart in such a callous manner, she thought to herself. She didn't get this far in life, letting people walk all over her , and she wasn't going to start now.

Matt looked at her rigid posture and smiled to himself," I really don't fancy being her enemy, I mean if this is how she treats someone she considers her friend, yea, no i think i'm going to try to stay on her good side"

"listen I want to apologize for how I reacted on Friday. it was really rude of me. It was just so unexpected and I was drunk..." he tapered off as he saw her eyebrow raise in response to his words.  
>" Matt, let's just forget about it. it was a mistake. it won't happen again" Alesha replied flatly, shaking her head in dismay after hearing his tragically lame excuses.<p>

" No, Lesh, come on, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm not saying I kissed you because I was drunk-" He said quickly, trying to restart the already tattered communication lines.

" so then explain, Devlin. lay it all out for me, I'm listening. I've got the time" Alesha said rather testily. She dramatically put her elbows on the table, and her hands under her chin, eagerly waiting his reasons.

Matt took a deep breath before launching into an impassioned speech ' Well you know I really like you okay? its just that I don't do commitment. and you deserve a proper fully committed relationship which i can't give you. and that kiss well it was WOW but such a monumental mistake and I panicked okay? I screwed up, it should never have happened!"

he finally looked up to see her face, to see her reaction to his confession. and all he saw was sadness. She didn't try to hide it this time, she just let it show. she looked sad and defeated, as all the fight left her small body, and she suddenly looked so fragile.

This caught Matt unaware, "Alesha, I- I'm so sorry" he started trying to take her hand, before she waved him off.

She was bereft of all feeling, she almost always forgot that word, but there it was. she finally understood it in all its entirety. Alesha didn't think she'd ever forget it again.

He sat there, muted, there wasn't anything he could say that would make it all better. He had feelings for her yes, but did he want to be with her? he wasn't sure yet. and if he said that would it make it all better or would it make her feel worse?

It took what felt like ages for her to find her voice again, to regain her much sought after composure. " okay...Okay" she were the first words out of her mouth.

It was like waking up from a deep sleep, he watched as She sat up taller and shook her head as if clearing away the cobwebs within it. " right, Matt, while I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm going to have to go home now, okay? thankyou" and with that she took her coat and fled the coffee shop.

Matt sat there in shock, still staring at her now empty seat. " what the hell just happened?


	6. Chapter 6

For rest of the week Alesha was nowhere to be seen, James wouldn't tell him, even though he clearly knew. George took over the Vaughan vs Harrington Case with James. and they both stayed absurdly quiet when Alesha's name was mentioned in front of Matt.

Ronnie was the one to tell him that she'd taken an impromptu holiday, but she was otherwise fine.

Matt didn't know what to do or what to think. He wasn't even sure how she felt, she never even said.

Ronnie tried to console him with sympathetic anecdotes,but it was of small comfort to him .

He was quickly realizing how silly he was being trying to cling to his anti-commitment persona. He could have atleast asked her out on a date properly and see how it went from there.

What was he playing at? no wonder she left, he had basically told her flat out that he didn't want to be with her,that for some reason she just wasn't good enough. so to save her last bit of pride she buggered off.

The next week she still wasn't there, Matt barely ate or slept. why wasn't she answering her cell? He desperately needed to apologize and to take it all back and tell her how much he realized he needed her in his life.

He was almost robotic, he did his share of the workload during the day without much feeling but mostly Ronnie propped him up after hours. No amount of alchohol or work seemed to take his mind off of the gaping hole in his life where Alesha occupied.

Each night when he couldn't sleep, he'd go over conversations they had and wonder how the hell did he miss it? he'd loved her all along. every smile,every giggle all of a sudden it all made sense. he wanted her back in his life, he needed her back in his life. He knew what he'd have to do when she finally did come back.

* * *

><p>Alesha was so grateful for George and James' understanding. James was her rock throughout this tumultous time.<p>

The 2 weeks holiday was more than enough to help her deal. she stayed in Wales at the bed and breakfast of one ofUni friends parents. and just allowed herself to wallow in self pity until she couldn't take it anymore and dealt with the issues at hand.

So what if he didn't want her? it wasn't the end of the world. She lived fine without him before, she'd do fine even more so now. it was just one silly kiss. she overreacted, he was right, it was just a huge mistake. wasn't the word monumental, he used?

She chastized herself over and over again for her impulsive reaction, but she didn't regret it. atleast he didn't see her cry. she was grateful for that.

and when she actually started to believe that things could go back to how they were, she knew it was time to go back to her real life. She'd hidden out long enough.

She called James to let him know she would be back to work on Monday bright and early.

He was excited to hear from her, and although he was still a bit worried about her, he knew that if anyone could carry on and grow from this experience, it would be Alesha.


	7. Chapter 7

Alesha donned her favorite outfit for work that Monday morning. She did her hair the way she liked it best, and ate her favorite breakfast.

Today was going to be a new start, no more pining, she thought to herself. She ignored her aching heart, ignored its yearning to see Matt Devlin's face. and she carried on.

She was the first to get into the office, and it felt good to be back behind her desk. She quickly placed the Thankyou gifts she'd brought for George and James on their respective desks, and started up her pc, eager to get back into her routine.

She looked up startled to see Matt purposefully,walking towards her. Her heart skipped several beats.

He looked so good. she'd forgotten how good in fact. His clean shaven face, the way his suit fit, it all made her very thoughtful.

She stood up when he got to her desk. He walked around the table and stood in front of her. She couldn't breathe, all thought fled her mind. All her talk about moving on, was lost at his close proxmity.

She started to say his name, when he cut her off with a soft kiss on the right side of her mouth. Her heart stopped beating instantly. He leaned in again and kissed her another gentle kiss on the left side of her mouth, this time cupping both hands around her face.

He looked into her eyes with so much feeling, her heart restarted with thudding beats,that she swore he could feel it through her shirt.

And when finally, He kissed her full on, with the intensity that could compete with the sun, she nearly swooned.

After awhile He let her go,but didn't move away. Instead he pulled her into a tight embrace, and whispered into her hair " Alesha, I am so sorry, I was a real prat. I nearly lost you out of sheer stubborness. I couldn't stop thinking about you for the past 2 weeks. If you forgive me, I'll buy you all the coffee you could bloody well handle!"

Alesha found herself giggling into his chest, tears rolling down her cheek in waves. " I'll think about it" she said in a watery voice.

Matt pulled back and looked into her face,his eyes searching hers as he said " I really am sorry, I knew I was yours from that kiss that night, and yet I fought it like an idiot. I can understand if you still hate me"

Alesha shook her head, her voice still not cooperating properly, so she did the next best thing, she grabbed his jacket collar and pulled him towards her, and kissed him as deeply as she could, letting all her pent up feelings out.

If he didn't know how she felt after this, he was a lost cause.

Matt reluctantly pulled back for air, grinning at her " so that'd be a yes,then?" before swooping her up in a hug that lifted her off her feet.


End file.
